When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
