Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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