we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
