At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
