**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
