I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
