I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
