I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize