And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
