I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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