i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
