Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
