Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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