I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
