What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
