seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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