the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
