so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Text me some of your sweat
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
