I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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