Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
