I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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