god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
