She is in my trunk
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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