Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize