So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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