Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
pray to the hookup gods
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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