speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
