so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Floor bacon is actually really good
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
