this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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