Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
