You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize