Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
