From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
