and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
