i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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