She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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