Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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