Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
