I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
