I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
