I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
