hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
