So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
