I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
