The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
