Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
