were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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