My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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