the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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