why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
