remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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