One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
