a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
