Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
