i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
