Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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