she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
