if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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