Everything about him screamed your future.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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