Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
