True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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